omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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