Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
