it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
