i think i have two assholes
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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