Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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