And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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