Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
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They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
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I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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