And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
