So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
