dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
