yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
