Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize