so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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