I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
