so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
