I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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