Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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