I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
