If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
