my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
