My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
