I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
