You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
