hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
