so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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