Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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