epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How external is "for external use only"?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
