arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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