Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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