I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
