Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
