Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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