fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.