Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
