Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.

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(301): I wish Pampers made couches for people like us. http://tfl.nu/vwfv

Replies (6) Good night (783) Bad night (3239)
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(734): View more from Michigan

I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck

(734): View more from Michigan

omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore

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(734): I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck (734): omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore http://tfl.nu/u6lq

Replies (32) Good night (969) Bad night (4041)
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(206): View more from Washington

I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.

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(206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed. http://tfl.nu/hhhb

Replies (26) Good night (1047) Bad night (5721)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!

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(931): After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night. (1-931): That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man! http://tfl.nu/4819

Replies (17) Good night (1040) Bad night (4689)
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(512): View more from Texas

Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

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(512): Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her. http://tfl.nu/6ypm

Replies (50) Good night (18008) Bad night (1215)
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(620): View more from Kansas

Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.

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(620): Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians. http://tfl.nu/2mf6

Replies (26) Good night (1155) Bad night (4356)
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(330): View more from Ohio

i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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(330): i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait. http://tfl.nu/bv41

Replies (15) Good night (2875) Bad night (988)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.

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(703): I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet. http://tfl.nu/knpf

Replies (2) Good night (1611) Bad night (573)
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(209): View more from California

I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.

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(209): I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/cws8

Replies (23) Good night (903) Bad night (3176)
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(309): View more from Illinois

she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it

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(309): she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it http://tfl.nu/dnda

Replies (7) Good night (994) Bad night (643)
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(310): View more from California

My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?

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(310): My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here? http://tfl.nu/bu6m

Replies (5) Good night (2400) Bad night (628)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it's like my freshman wet dream come true

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(412): it's like my freshman wet dream come true http://tfl.nu/8b08

Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (445)
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(619): View more from California

Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.

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(619): Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket. http://tfl.nu/fgzh

Replies (7) Good night (742) Bad night (376)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.

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(775): I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist. http://tfl.nu/2qn6

Replies (5) Good night (390) Bad night (1073)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead

(1-417): View more from Missouri

Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.

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(417): Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead (1-417): Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp. http://tfl.nu/xy3p

Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (298)

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