Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Jerry, you need to find god

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  (502): Jerry, you need to find god http://tfl.nu/604x
  Replies (17) Good night (836) Bad night (1310)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.

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  (985): Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with. http://tfl.nu/8rek
  Replies (43) Good night (4939) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.

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  (630): I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building. http://tfl.nu/xm6j
  Replies (12) Good night (9688) Bad night (1669)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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  (425): Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange. http://tfl.nu/6ccw
  Replies (19) Good night (1411) Bad night (5624)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning

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  (504): You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning http://tfl.nu/qlbe
  Replies (40) Good night (5392) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving

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  (972): Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving http://tfl.nu/e1pp
  Replies (13) Good night (4858) Bad night (1222)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome

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  (419): two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome http://tfl.nu/ey6z
  Replies (11) Good night (5184) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.

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  (608): he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually. http://tfl.nu/qiv4
  Replies (5) Good night (2689) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.

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  (484): if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate. http://tfl.nu/ujin
  Replies (7) Good night (2654) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.

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  (347): Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times. http://tfl.nu/buvd
  Replies (5) Good night (558) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make

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  (417): You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make http://tfl.nu/3d29
  Replies (5) Good night (2227) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL

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  (210): You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL http://tfl.nu/gpbu
  Replies (6) Good night (2081) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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  (605): Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5 http://tfl.nu/9kam
  Replies (3) Good night (1207) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM

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  (715): Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM http://tfl.nu/1p5l
  Replies (5) Good night (905) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.

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  (403): I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here. http://tfl.nu/pi4e
  Replies (0) Good night (802) Bad night (269)

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