Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
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I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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