Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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