I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
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I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
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Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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