You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
it glows. i had to have it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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