We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
