You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
