you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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