how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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