You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
