I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
they need to just BURY HIM!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
