How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
