how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
