look no pants
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
