I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will be naked everywhere
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
