If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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