like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
