Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
