why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
