I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
