I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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