I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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