i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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