Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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