If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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