i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
