Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
