Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
These tits shall not be calmed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
