I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
