Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
